When we first met Dani and Paloma from In the Cortex, I had no idea that our family’s life was about to take a transformative turn. As a stay-at-home mom of two—a teen in mainstream public school and our youngest in an Alternative Learning Options school—life was a whirlwind of challenges. Yelling, sensory chaos, meltdowns, refusals, aggression, anxiety, clutter—you name it, we were navigating it.
Having retired from my career as a child and family psychiatric nurse practitioner, I never stopped being a student. I’ve been a patient of EMDR therapy, a student and teacher of yoga, I enjoy meditation, and I practice TRE (a sequence of exercises that helps release tension in the body). I’ve done a lot of work to learn how to exist in high-stress environments. While I consider myself an evidence-based practitioner, I’m also endlessly curious and open to new tools that might bring more ease, inner peace, clarity, and joy.
Seeking Solutions Beyond Traditional Avenues
Services are expensive and waitlists are long where we live. My mantra had always been, “OK, this is what a neurodiverse family looks like. It’s okay. We’ll be okay.” But most days didn’t feel okay. When an educator at our school suggested brain reorganization work, I thought, why not? I knew our kiddos wouldn’t commit unless we did, so our family of four agreed to embark on this journey together.
The Beginning of Our Brain Reorganization Adventure
We dove into the three-month self-guided In the Cortex process with seriousness and dedication, skipping fewer than five days total. Throughout that time, we all experienced regressions and escalations, bumps in the road, and plenty of questions. Our youngest faced serious regressions midway, but with Dani’s unwavering support and encouragement, we kept going.
There were—and still are—days when my body craved the movements involved in the brainwork. I try to listen to it. Sometimes, my teen asks to do brain work because she feels social anxiety creeping back to unmanageable levels. Our youngest still avoids it at times but understands it’s an option and will participate after setting up his own reward system to overcome his avoidance.
The Transformation We Witnessed
The changes in our family have been nothing short of remarkable. We’re still a “messy-stressy” family at times, but the most intense episodes have significantly lessened. When tensions do spike, we recover faster. I feel confident that this progress will continue to build over time.
Significant Changes We Saw
For Our Youngest:
- Improved Coordination: He can now hit and catch a ball.
- Fewer Meltdowns: After pushing through the regressions, his emotional outbursts have decreased.
- Seeking Help: He comes to me and asks to have his hair brushed when he needs comfort.
- Coping Strategies: Occasionally chooses a strategy to cope instead of going straight to a meltdown.
For Our Teen:
- Increased Confidence: She sang in front of friends at a social event while a friend played guitar—a huge shift for her!
For Myself:
- Emotional Stability: I feel calm and okay more often, with fewer ups and downs.
- Compassion: More empathy for myself and others; I’m less triggered and edgy.
- Self-Awareness: I can feel my body and emotions more clearly and respond to my needs.
- Resilience: Less shame when I mess up, and a better understanding that it’s not about being a “bad mom” or failing.
- Asking for Help: I’m more likely to seek assistance when I’m depleted or something isn’t working.
Navigating Challenges with New Tools
We still experience turbulence during growth spurts, but I’ve learned to be more responsive and engage more effectively. It’s not perfect—sometimes I have to backtrack and pivot—but it’s getting easier each time.
Repairing After Messy Events:
Our family now gives each other time and space to cool off. We can talk things through from a more informed place, understanding that we all have limits. When those limits are overrun, we might go into self-protective mode or lash out. These moments have become teachable opportunities to figure out what we might be missing or needing.
A Moment That Showed Me the Change
One of my favorite stories that demonstrate how I conserve energy now involves a recent encounter at a grocery store. An employee was unkind and refused to help me. In the past, I would have gotten angry or argumentative. Instead, I placed my hand over my heart and became very calm, thinking carefully about what to say next. During that pause, another employee stepped in and resolved the situation. It was a lovely outcome that might not have happened before our brain work.
Embracing Consistency and Moving Forward
A significant change is my ability to be more consistent. Previously, I often felt defeated and too overwhelmed to front-load expectations for my most vulnerable child, leading to meltdowns and family conflict. Now, I consistently remember to prepare, gain buy-in, and have backup plans ready.
I appreciate having lifetime access to the program. There are times when my body signals the need to return to brain work, and it’s comforting to know we have a tool that actually decreases reactivity. We’ve navigated many chapters and changes in life, and this practice remains a steady resource.
Final Reflections
Working with Dani and Paloma has been remarkably supportive and genuinely fun. The journey of brain reorganization has been fascinating, offering us new ways to connect and grow as a family. While we’re still on this adventure, the positive changes we’ve experienced affirm that embracing new tools can lead to profound transformation.
There’s always something to learn, and I’m grateful for the ease, inner peace, clarity, and joy that have begun to weave into the fabric of our everyday lives.
If you’re considering brain reorganization work or looking for new ways to support your family’s well-being, I encourage you to stay open and curious. The journey might just surprise you.
